The Light Worker

No matter how ominous and dark the state of our world appears to be, and the news reports will have me to believe, my spirit suggests something totally different. I've come close to losing hope in our world's ability to shift from being selfish, hate-filled and greed-motivated to a more spiritual, holistic and caring society. I know that this is not the worst time in the history of the world, but it has felt like the worst time I can remember in the last 53 years of living.

My optimistic plans for 2020 were slowly brought to grinding halt in April. In early February, I remember reading that China had built a 1,000 bed hospital in 10 days. I didn't understand at that time why they took such drastic measures. What was happening over there? I didn't know there was a tsunami of Coronus virus heading toward the U.S. But, once the news hit the airwaves of the U.S., it was nonstop. I quickly began to change my diet of spiritual, faith-building readings and music to watching CNN and MSNBC and Aljazeera, nonstop! A steady diet, almost every day, with few breaks in between. I needed to know what was happening, how it was happening, and to whom it was happening. The fact that it was a world-wide experience made an even greater impact on my psyche.

That constant diet of current events combined with the racial unrest that had boiled over after simmering for so many years, was enough for me to feel a bit crazy, very angry, worried, depressed, anxious, and many days hopeless. I picked up 20 of the 53 pounds I had released over the last year. I began sleeping less, eating more, moving less, drinking more, laughing less, and thinking more. Once the stay-at-home orders were given, I almost became a hopeless hermit. I have Sarcoidosis of the lungs, and I felt like I was walking around with an X on my back. I was just waiting to get the "Rona". I could feel my fears and anxiety coming over me like a heavy blanket. Losing my 93 year old uncle to COVID-19 was a big blow, too. He had been thriving until the virus entered his facility. I felt defeated, and my fear of contracting the virus felt even more real.

Almost drowning in fear and pity, I began to examine myself in order to pull out some tools that I had collected over the years from my personal development journey. Those tools allowed me to do what I needed to do to change the way I felt about my life by shifting my perspective. I desperately wanted to feel hopeful again. I had dreams and goals to pursue and I needed hope to motivate my actions.

One day, I decided to take myself to court! I looked for any evidence that would prove to me that I would NOT be okay. Was there any evidence? Without fail, every time I found myself in a situation where I thought "Oh no! this is the BIG one, I don't think I will ever overcome this", I have survived, and went on to thrive, as well! That was a great tool to engage in this fight for my life. I began to look around (or rather inside myself) for more tools to engage.

So how did I survive in the past? I believe I survived because I continued to stand in the light. The light that I refer to is the light of truth, the light of the Great I Am, the light of Source God. I began to read more books and look for resources that would help me patch and secure my foundation - it became unsettled in all of the chaos. The foundation of your spiritual house needs to be excavated some times. It may need to be strengthened and secured because of the many challenges in life.

I also looked for support among my closest friends. I shared my feelings, cried, laughed and grew from that place with them as my support system. Little by little, I began to feel more empowered by living in the now and doing what I know I was born to do. Worrying wasn't serving me anymore. I began to live more intentionally than ever. I spent more time in the sunshine, meditating and nurturing the gift of time that I had been given to spend with God, the angels, and myself.

In essence, I changed my diet to include more of what is healthy and serves me and my purpose. I recommitted myself to demonstrating more love and compassion for myself and others, continuing the search for truth no matter how uncomfortable it feels or how dangerous it becomes, and to serve with excellence, those God places in my path, confident in my purpose. I am a Light Worker for Him and I am here to love, to learn and grow, to teach and to serve.

The other day, I received a wonderful reminder from God. Darkness shall never over come the Light. Darkness will only cast a shadow.